Is it wrong for a Muslim to be antisocial (not the political kind)?
Youths
Asked on 15th May 2020
Question
Asalamualykum.
I am of 17 years old and a male. Firstly, I would like to apologize for writing a very long question. After I finished writing, I realize I wrote a bit of an autobiography! I only meant to provide context so that you may be able to better understand my situation and best answer it, inshallah. I am very sorry for this long read, Jazak Allahu Khayran.
I have this blessing from Allah SWT that I am unable to keep friends, or have anybody be interested enough about me to spend time to get to know me. This include my family members, so my main trial during my earlier teenage years was loneliness and not receiving emotional, and sometimes practical, support from other human beings; the only direct source of comfort and person I could talk about my problems with is Allah SWT.
I am 100% sure that my character and conduct is not the problem. I am in no way egoistic internally and externally nor am I selfish or prideful or unkind; by the grace of Allah the Almighty, I was able to demonstrate and have these characteristics. I believe that my matter of people being unable to be close to me is a blessing from Allah SWT and this will continue, allhuallam. I have made peace with that.
Because of the futility of me trying to keep friends and close relations with people, I have decided that I will not seek companionship unless it is handed to me i.e. the person is of good heart and lets their intentions be known that they want to be friends with me.
My question is, it is wrong for me not to seek companionship from others? I am in no way antisocial nor am I introverted, but it seems like no one desires my company, and as a result, I am forced to adapt. I am studying in a college filled with people whose hearts are corrupt. Should I persist in seeking their friendship, in order to influence them to turn more towards Allah SWT and Islam because I, inshallah, and by the grace of Allah SWT can inspire them with my good conduct and character? Or should I attempt to stay away from them, lest they may corrupt me, Allah forbid?
Jazāk Allāhu Khayran.
Answer
Wa'alaykumsalaam Wa Rahmatullah.
Should I persist in seeking their friendship, in order to influence them to turn more towards Allah SWT and Islam because I, inshallah, and by the grace of Allah SWT can inspire them with my good conduct and character? Or should I attempt to stay away from them, lest they may corrupt me, Allah forbid?
First of all, your question is not long and we are happy to hear from you no matter how long the email is. may Allah protect us all.
Secondly, The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) advised us to look whom we are befriending because we are more prone of following the faith (manners) of our friends.
So, what you have to do it to be a normal God-fearing person. Whoever would want to be your friend, they are those who are on the same level of your faith. If you try to mingle with those who are not on the proper path believing that you may change them, this needs a powerful character. You will either be able to to do OR blend with them and be like them.
Therefore, as the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) instructed to see whom we befriends, we just need to be a normal person, we say salaam to whom we can and let it go on the flow. Keep your distance from the opposite gender (girlfriends etc ..) as well as those who may harm your relationship with Allah.
You are right to always seek Allah's help. Remember that Allah is always with you. If you look at majority of the prophets, they were all alone.. Prophet Ibrahim, Younus, Nuh, Yousuf etc... (peace be upon them all). So you being alone or being selective of your friends, this is indeed a blessing from Allah.
Allah knows best
Should I persist in seeking their friendship, in order to influence them to turn more towards Allah SWT and Islam because I, inshallah, and by the grace of Allah SWT can inspire them with my good conduct and character? Or should I attempt to stay away from them, lest they may corrupt me, Allah forbid?
First of all, your question is not long and we are happy to hear from you no matter how long the email is. may Allah protect us all.
Secondly, The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) advised us to look whom we are befriending because we are more prone of following the faith (manners) of our friends.
So, what you have to do it to be a normal God-fearing person. Whoever would want to be your friend, they are those who are on the same level of your faith. If you try to mingle with those who are not on the proper path believing that you may change them, this needs a powerful character. You will either be able to to do OR blend with them and be like them.
Therefore, as the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) instructed to see whom we befriends, we just need to be a normal person, we say salaam to whom we can and let it go on the flow. Keep your distance from the opposite gender (girlfriends etc ..) as well as those who may harm your relationship with Allah.
You are right to always seek Allah's help. Remember that Allah is always with you. If you look at majority of the prophets, they were all alone.. Prophet Ibrahim, Younus, Nuh, Yousuf etc... (peace be upon them all). So you being alone or being selective of your friends, this is indeed a blessing from Allah.
Allah knows best