Marriage/cheating
Marriage
Asked on 20th April 2021
Question
Assalamu aleikom. I have had some marriage problems for a while now. Almost got divorced 3.. but we said we will work it our in sha Allah. my husband isn’t praying for a while either, sometimes just once and then not again. anyways, today is the seventh day of ramadan and i know sneaking is not allowed, but i was sneaking through his phone because something told me to.. and i found several pictures of naked women, plus a video where a naked woman was on our bed and he was touching her.. now i don’t know what to do. I didn’t confront him yet, i just left. Should i wait until ramadan is over or take it as a sign to move on ? Because i was making Dua to Allah that i don’t know what to do anymore and asking him to show me or give me a sign.. wallahi i don’t know.. barak allahu feek.
Answer
Wa'alaykumsalaam Wa Rahmatullah.
Indeed whatever he has done is a grave sin and need big attention.
Since he is still your husband, you may not allow to be living elsewhere except through his permission.
I know that it is frustrated to be around him, this is a matter that needs to be rectify as soon as possible. He needs to know his mistake and that you have a decision to make.
We need to see how is his reaction of regret or carelessness about the situation.
You may do these steps.
Bring him over or go back home and speak about what you have seen, if you feel insecure doing this by yourself, then you may hold this meeting either on the phone or at a place where you are safe.
If this is something that he doesn't feel guilty about, then this marriage has to be resolved. You may ask a seperation from him.
If this is something that has happened before and he repeated it and you do not want to be with him anymore, this marriage can be resolved through a Khul'
If you feel that he needs some counselling and advice about the fear of Allah etc ... then he may need to visit an Imam for counselling in shaa Allah.
If you believe that you cannot stay with such a man, then a khul' from the court is to be issued.
Allah knows best
Indeed whatever he has done is a grave sin and need big attention.
Since he is still your husband, you may not allow to be living elsewhere except through his permission.
I know that it is frustrated to be around him, this is a matter that needs to be rectify as soon as possible. He needs to know his mistake and that you have a decision to make.
We need to see how is his reaction of regret or carelessness about the situation.
You may do these steps.
Bring him over or go back home and speak about what you have seen, if you feel insecure doing this by yourself, then you may hold this meeting either on the phone or at a place where you are safe.
If this is something that he doesn't feel guilty about, then this marriage has to be resolved. You may ask a seperation from him.
If this is something that has happened before and he repeated it and you do not want to be with him anymore, this marriage can be resolved through a Khul'
If you feel that he needs some counselling and advice about the fear of Allah etc ... then he may need to visit an Imam for counselling in shaa Allah.
If you believe that you cannot stay with such a man, then a khul' from the court is to be issued.
Allah knows best