My father abuses my mother
Marriage
Asked on 5th March 2023
Question
Aoa I am a 16 (F) my father emotionally and physically abuses my mother and rises his hand against her continuously ..many family members have also gotten involved in the past to stop him but he never stops .. he stops being physically abusive when my brothers are at home but whenever they are out of city he never stops whenever my sister and I try to stop him he hits us instead .. only time there is peace at home is when he is at home or out. at this point I have lost all respect towards him and hate him alot what should I do?
Answer
Assalaamou'alaikoum.
This is indeed not permissible.
There is nothing in the Quran that suggests that a man is allowed to beat his wife .
The Quran enjoins good treatment of one's wife: she is to be honoured and treated kindly, even when one no longer feels love in one's heart towards her. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.” [al-Nisa 4:19]
The Quran explains that women have rights over their husbands , just as their husbands have rights over them. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
This verse indicates that the man has additional rights, commensurate with his role as protector and maintainer and his responsibility of spending (on his wife) etc.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) enjoined kind treatment and honouring of one’s wife, and he described the best of people as those who are best to their wives. He said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Majah, 1977; classed as sahih by al-Albani in Sahih al-Tirmidhi)
He will have to be taken to a counsellor or Imam to be advised. Indeed you will lose all respect for a person who hits and do not respect others. I would advise to keep making du'a that Allah make him realize his mistakes OR have your brother sit him down and speak to him about their mother. If he hits like this, it means he must be probably having anger issue, drinking or taking some kinds of hyper pills - probably. He needs counselling in an Islamic perspective and any more help needed, we can be reached on 00971 50 3402062 (What's app)
Shukran
This is indeed not permissible.
There is nothing in the Quran that suggests that a man is allowed to beat his wife .
The Quran enjoins good treatment of one's wife: she is to be honoured and treated kindly, even when one no longer feels love in one's heart towards her. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.” [al-Nisa 4:19]
The Quran explains that women have rights over their husbands , just as their husbands have rights over them. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
This verse indicates that the man has additional rights, commensurate with his role as protector and maintainer and his responsibility of spending (on his wife) etc.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) enjoined kind treatment and honouring of one’s wife, and he described the best of people as those who are best to their wives. He said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Majah, 1977; classed as sahih by al-Albani in Sahih al-Tirmidhi)
He will have to be taken to a counsellor or Imam to be advised. Indeed you will lose all respect for a person who hits and do not respect others. I would advise to keep making du'a that Allah make him realize his mistakes OR have your brother sit him down and speak to him about their mother. If he hits like this, it means he must be probably having anger issue, drinking or taking some kinds of hyper pills - probably. He needs counselling in an Islamic perspective and any more help needed, we can be reached on 00971 50 3402062 (What's app)
Shukran